i don't like sucking hair
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
