Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize