arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
