singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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