I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
