Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
