I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
