I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
