i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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