can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
