Four minutes until I can fart!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize