well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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