You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
