You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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