woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Randomize
