I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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