I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
