this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
