Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
