Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
