We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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