Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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