and i looked up. we had an audience...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
