I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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