The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
