Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
