I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
