i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
