Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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