I think i peed on brittanys purse
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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