they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
