im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
