i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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