everyone is single if you try hard enough
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
