I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
