Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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