How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
