Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
