I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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