Don't make out with my wife yet
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
