i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
