We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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