Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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