Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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