Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
be right there i have to get my cape
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
