Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize