Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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