Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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