I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
