So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
