I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Dignity is for republicans.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
