This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
