New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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