plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i just google imaged poop.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
In other news, I just burned my penis
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
