What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
