Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
