the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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