East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
